Minimal Words, Maximum Thoughts

Do you ever feel like your vocabulary isn't adequate enough for what you're thinking or trying to express?

More often than not, I find myself using the same group of words even though, in truth, they are unable to accurately describe the sentiments in which I'm trying to relay. I have so many thoughts, ideas, and emotions flashing, rolling, and spinning inside my mind that I cannot even begin to explain to someone what I'm really thinking.

It makes me feel trapped, because so much I'd like to connect with people through language but my inadequacies prevent me from doing so. Thus, I fear this makes me feel emotionally unavailable to others. Not that my fear and inabilty to explain to others what's going on inside my mind is the only reason, but I fear it prohibits me from meeting and connecting with others.

A great fear of mine is to appear unintelligent. I don't want to appear unintelligent to others, but I would like to be able to carry on a political or literary conversation and use appropriate diction, in correct grammatical form. I feel as though if I weren't placed in such a high-paced academic program throughout my youth, I would be more confident in my grasp on language and wordchoice. But it seems that being around others who like to flaunt their intellect pushes me to believe that I have none, once again preventing me from speaking about something of worth. Which really, no matter what I say, when I say it, or how it's interpreted, should mean something to someone. I just wish that what I have to say had the ability to affect them the way it affects me.

On a happier note, I finally went to Best Buy earlier tonight and bought The Sims 3. I was so paranoid that my laptop wouldn't be able to handle it, considering all the hype about how only select computers would have the capability, but I installed it and I had no problems! It's great! It has great graphics, and the detail that I had thought was amazing in The Sims 2 has amplified by thousands in this new game. I actually wrote down all the numbers related to my laptop and asked one of the fellows there whether or not it would work. I know it's nerdy, but I didn't want to risk fifty bucks on something that may not work.

I haven't really had the chance to play it much, but I did create a family and I did purchase them a house. Tomorrow I plan on spending some serious time creating relationships and leading them towards their life goals. A problem I'm having though is I can't figure out how to make the cheat bar show up. In all the information I've gotten, it's control+shift+c, as always, but when I attempted it earlier, it didn't work! And trust me, I need my motherlode, as I expect my Sims to not only work, but be financially stable as well.

That's probably enough out of me tonight, my attention is waning. Goodnight, my lovers.